How to Move On: A 101 Guide

Bass on Bass | Isabel Gieser | Woodblock Print

How to Move On: A 101 Guide by Ada Moore

1) Don’t think about all of the good memories you had together. 

Every time she called you beautiful, every time she held you close. When she whispered that you were the only one she truly loved. All of the dates where you felt like the only two people alive, and the way you looked at each other in the faded pictures from her antique black Canson camera. It will only make it harder to realize that these moments were fleeting and the old her is never coming back. No matter how hard you wish for this to happen again and for things to be like they were, you have to move on. 

2) Remember how they made you feel. 

Remember how you felt when you found out she was talking to other people at the same time as you, and you realized you were just one of her many options. You are more than an option, you deserve the world, and she couldn’t give this to you. Remember the pit in your stomach when she said you should just be friends, or when she told you she had a boyfriend nearly 5 seconds after saying she still had feelings for you. Was it all a lie? You have to move on. 

3) No contact. 

Even though you see each other in Honors English every day and you sit next to one another because she had saved you a seat on the first day of school (back when she still “liked” you), don’t talk to her. Don’t even look in her direction. Pretend that you aren’t still pinned on her phone. Block out the noise of her telling you about the new guy she is hooking up with your AirPods set to full volume. Block out the noise of her saying she will always love you. Block her out of your life. You have to move on. 

4) Remind yourself that she doesn’t love you. 

When she gently tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and stares deeply into your eyes exactly like she used to, what are you supposed to do? When she runs up behind you during practice and wraps her arms around your waist and rests her chin in the crook of your neck, how are you not supposed to feel loved?  She does not love you. She wouldn’t do this to you if she did; the tug of war on your heart because she can’t make up her own mind. She’s chosen other people over you every single time–this time won’t be different. You can’t be her second pick, or wait around for her to call you so you can finally feel useful. There is so much love around you, and you have so much love to give to others who aren’t her. You can finally let go of her and choose yourself for once. 

At last, you can move on.